As we age, many times those things which were easy or mundane might become difficult or unsafe for us to do. Driving is one such task. Lots of seniors began driving a car even before they were of legal age, so they might have 50, 60 or even 70 years experience in driving!

Many factors may contribute to whether or not the senior needs to continue to drive or drive alone. Among those are:

* Worsening Vision- cataracts, poor night vision or glaucoma may have diminished their ability to safely navigate.

* Diminished Reflexes- As we age, our ability to process and react to the situations around us can slow or greatly diminish. This could lead to accidents that might damage property or people.

* Memory Issues- Memory loss is natural as we age, but for individuals with conditions like Alzheimer's, dementia, Parkinson's and other similar conditions might become disoriented. As a result, they may forget locations or directions to places they have travelled to for years, up to and including their own homes.

* Physical deterioration- Not only their vision issues, but also issues like stamina, joint pain, arthritis in their hands, hips or shoulders, and back pain can make something as simple as driving to the grocery store a dangerous venture.

So what are caregivers supposed to do when their elderly parent or loved one insists on driving, and yet we know it's not a safe or good idea?  Here are a few suggestions to consider.

First, have a talk with someone in their life who represents authority, someone they respect. This might be their primary care physician, an attorney, a pastor or close friend of theirs. Many times when the same advice that was given by family comes from someone they consider to be an "authority", the individual will accept the counsel and act on it.  Share your concerns with the authority figure, and ask if they would be willing to intervene.

Next, offer to do the driving for them. It could be that their hesitancy to "giving up the keys" is rooted in a fear that if they do, then they will be homebound, and at the mercy of others for their transportation needs.  If you are initiating the offers to drive them to church, the store or to the park, then you might find the transition from driver to non-driver is easier for your senior to accept.

Consider hiring a caregiver to drive them, or run errands for them. Families who find themselves in the "Sandwich Generation", stuck between caring for ailing parents while still meeting the needs of their own spouse and children can find relief by enlisting the aid of a home care company. There are many reputable companies who can provide qualified and safe drivers to transport your loved one.

A slightly more drastic measure might simply be to take the keys or remove the car from the premises. This can be a dangerous approach. If the car is titled in the name of the senior, and it is taken against their will, they are within their legal rights to report it stolen... and some have done just that!

As a last resort, the family may have to take legal action to become a guardian. If awarded the guardianship, the guardian has the legal ability to prevent the senior from driving by taking the car keys away, or selling the car. This action should only be taken after all other avenues have been tried, as it can cause serious relationship and trust issues in the future.

Whatever you decide to do, communicate a lot about this issue with other family members, care professionals and your loved one.  It's best if this decision is reached as a group decision, rather than an unpopular or disagreeable decision for the loved one involved.

Driving matters, and so does safety. Talk it out, brainstorm your options, and determine how quickly decisions have to be made. When that time comes, move decisively and lovingly. You'll be glad you did!

Page Cole
Agency Director/Dealer in Hope
Visiting Angels of Tulsa
Visiting Angels of Bartlesville
Visiting Angels of SWOKC​